I told the gym I wanted to lift something heavy. They handed me the membership contract.
New first
Twenty jokes a page. Each tile is the whole joke — category and date sit on the edge.
Our cat brings us gifts. Yesterday: a receipt. Today: the neighbour’s dignity.
The baker said the sourdough was alive. I asked if it pays rent.
I packed light for the trip. The suitcase still found a way to argue.
Dad’s advice: “Measure twice.” He was hanging a picture. The wall disagreed.
The teacher asked for a short essay. I wrote “essay” and sat down.
Monday called. I let it go to voicemail. Tuesday left a note.
The goldfish stared at me. I stared back. We both forgot why.
I ordered a salad to feel healthy. It arrived under a mountain of cheese. Balance.
The map said “you are here.” I was not. The map looked pleased.
Mum hid the biscuits. The dog found them. We held a family meeting without the dog.
My homework ate the dog. The teacher wrote “creative” and still marked it late.